Hold the Door
A weekly podcast about how underrepresented folks are surviving and thriving in the entertainment industry. Stay connected on Instagram @holdthedoorpod.
The views and opinions expressed are those of the host and guests alone.
Hold the Door
Operating in Your Purpose with Austin Kelly
This week, Austin Kelly joins to talk about what "operating in his purpose" looks like in pursuing animation. We talk about how this has influenced his career so far and what it looks like to continue that pursuit in a season when it may look more like a hobby.
If you want to connect with Austin, you can find him on Instagram and LinkedIn.
Make sure to subscribe to Hold the Door on your favorite listening platform. You can also get updates on guests, episode releases, and more by following the show on Instagram @holdthedoorpod.
Camille: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the host and guests alone.
Austin: I mean, I feel like animation to me is like jazz. Like it really is. Mm. It's like the compilation of all these disparate elements that come together to form this tapestry that is like beautifully evocative and moves people.
Camille: Hello, welcome to Hold the Door. I’m happy you’re here.
This week, Austin Kelly joins me to talk about what quote unquote operating in his purpose looks like in pursuing animation. We talk about how this has influenced his career so far and what it looks like to continue that pursuit in a season when it may look more like a hobby. Hope you enjoy.
Austin Kelly is a comedy writer, creative producer, and animation enthusiast based in Los Angeles. For five years, he served as a creative executive in animated film at Netflix before stepping away to focus on his own projects. Passionate about celebrating the Black aesthetic in animation, Austin is committed to ushering in a new era for the medium—one that embraces introspection, humility, and humor. He creates big worlds, quirky characters, and universal themes, always aiming to make people both feel and laugh.
Austin, thank you for joining. Welcome to the podcast.
Austin: Thank you for having me. So happy to be here.
Camille: today we're gonna be talking a little bit about. Operating in your purpose. And I don't know if that phrasing really resonates, but what I'm trying to get at is from meeting you, wow, how many, like five, six years ago now? Yeah. Crazy. You were already like, I'm doing animation, I'm committed, I know what I want.
And I think one, it's cool that you had that drive early and that clarity and then I also think you were probably the first person that I was like, oh, you're committed to animation?
Austin: Right?
Camille: Because everyone's like, I wanna be drama TV writer, or like, I'm trying to make these like huge blockbuster films.
Totally. And so I was like, you know what you're doing? You know where you're going. You have like,
Austin: I thought I did. I thought I did. It's all an act though.,
Camille: I wanna know how you got there and how you adjusted as you go. 'cause obviously careers ebb and flow, but I think you stayed focused on, this is what I'm trying to do.
Austin: Right.
Camille: And then made that happen in different ways. So, I always start the show off. Yeah. With how did you get your start in the industry and was entertainment always the plan?
Austin: Yeah, I think. It was probably always the plan. I was kind of split coming outta college between going the A&R route because I just like, oh, I'm a music junkie too.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And music actually is very interlocked to my animation experience. Like it's a big part of what I create. I was kind of split between music and comedy. I wanted to do standup for a little bit.
But, you know, I'm soft, I'm fragile, you know what I mean? I couldn't even get to the stage. I was like, I just forget it. Like I'll be behind the scenes. You know what I mean?
And then, you know, I always had love for animation, but honestly, like I didn't think about working in it coming outta college. It was more like comedy, hyper-focused. And I started out at UTA. You know, obviously hated it, but it was just kind of a springboard to get to that next job.
So, uh, I landed at this production company called Jackal Group. It was a, uh, POD for Fox and I was in the alternative division. We did both, like everything from like unscripted to animated shorts. Mm-hmm. So, you know, all my comedy kind of skillset would manifest in that lane.
And I obviously didn't give a fuck about, the unscripted stuff. I'd be like, like whatever, I'll set whatever meeting, but like, I literally have no creative notes. I don't care. But the shorts, like, I was like super attached to, and we were pumping out like, you know, two a week. And then what we were gonna do is build like a reservoir of like animated skits.
Which we did on YouTube. It was called a OK, had like 500,000 subscribers Got pretty big. Nice. But it was hemorrhaging money because we had no plan. So I got the taste of it there. And then, you know, I was writing stuff on the side. Most of it was live action with my writing partner. And then it just kind of clicked into place. So I was like, you know, I grew up loving animation.
It's informed a lot of my humor. Yeah. Like SpongeBob's literally my favorite show. I can watch it now with my son, like I'm a grown ass man. Yeah. It just like still speaks to me and a like, you know, very visceral level. Uh, having that like marriage of comedy. And then, you know, kind of the visual experience that animation offers, which I feel like can be really emotional if you utilize it well, it just felt like something I wanted to tap into and it also felt like an area that was kind of unmarked in terms of black humor and totally black experience. And obviously there's shows, right? You know, you got the Bebe kids movie, you got Tyler the Creator's like shit on cartoon Network.
And then, you know, PJs, I don't know if you remember that. Like Fever Dream with Eddie Murphy and like, it's yeah, it's like, Claymation in the projects of New York or some shit. Totally unique. Also like the black experiences.
So this, such a. Multitudeness to it, and it's only shown through one lens of like what blackness is. And of course, because there's such little being made that one lens ends up being, you know, kind of very stereotypical. Yeah. So I kind of wanted to tap into everything that I know of black experience. I think black people are like this, plethora of personalities and experiences and like, we're such a melting pot and every black person I meet is just so unique unto themselves, but you know, that's not what surfaces in media obviously. And then not in live action, but more so in live action than animation even. So there was even a bigger dearth in animation.
Austin: So I was like, okay, I think I'm finding where I want to be 'cause it's somewhere I can make an impact. And around that time I was like mid twenties.
Um, so after I got fired from this job actually, because I, I checked out 'cause the unscripted stuff was just like, I literally was not feeling it. And I won't get into my boss, but yeah, we were not seeing eye to eye. So I was fired. Moved back in with my parents in the valley and I was just kind of like, hit a huge wall. I was like, okay, at least i'm more informed about where I'm heading, but I don't have any money and I'm back at home and this is embarrassing. I, I saw things going a little bit differently.
So, you know, that year it was more about just figuring out how I wanted to express myself. So, you know. My parents thought I was crazy, but you know, I was chiefing in my room with the window open and they were like, we don't want you doing that. But I couldn't stop doing it. I was just like I need this.
Like, I'm sorry, I'm breaking one rule. I'm 25 now. Like just I need to get through this year. And then I would go to Blue Dog, this bar down the street, it's like my favorite bar and just write like every day while I was unemployed and you know, parents are like. We are worried, what is he doing?
Like what's happening right now? But I just kept doing it and honestly, that was like the most that was the most like creative.
Camille: Yeah. Did it feel good or It felt like I'm,
Austin: it felt amazing, honestly.
Like after I got over the part of like, feeling ashamed of where I was in my life, it just felt incredible because like you said, I felt like walking in my purpose, not to be corny, but like I really like, I really felt driven. Yeah. And that's what kind of, when you met me, I was on the tail end of like feeling a lot of that because like I had a breakthrough just in terms of knowing what I wanted to do. Not like the universe telling me, instructing me what I need to be and yeah, I was just like, I know what I want to do.
So in that time, I didn't have the money, but I came up with the concepts for my shows. And I got some like early, like rudimentary designs, like environment designs and character designs. Disgusting. Now they were like these Fiver hires, like these people that like just learning how to draw like drawing characters for me, for like 20 bucks.
Like it was just so
Camille: You're like this is where I'm at, I'll take what I can get
Austin: yeah, this is where exactly. And I was showing people like, it's really nice. This is great. I knew it looked like trash, but it's like it was getting it out of me. I was like, you could see it now. I could visualize it. And then it worked as like a cycle where that would feed me and I'd be okay, I just gotta pour more money into it and it will be even better and what I can visualize.
Yeah. So that whole time, meanwhile, obviously, you know, living off my parents, I was like, okay, I know, like I'm applying jobs like every day. Yeah. I'm not just writing like I'm, I'm looking for jobs constantly. And then about like four or five months into it, you know, I got the unemployment checks and everything, always going towards the bar at Blue Dog, and, you know, paying my parents here and there for stuff but then I started to get some interviews, and it all happened at the same time. I got interview like Dreamworks and then Netflix and then a few production companies. So the Netflix one, after I didn't get the other two, it kind of just got. Drawn out the longest. So I was like, I'm not gonna get this one. But they keep asking me, I'm gonna keep going.
Right? Yeah. And then, so the job I went out for was actually, Kids and Family. It was live action, but I was like, it's kids and family. Like I'll figure it out once I get in the door. I got down to those final two as well. She went with the other person and then I was like, oh shit. Okay. So oh for three struck out. there was an amazing HR rep there at the time but she, she reached out, she's like, you're the perfect fit for our culture, i'm gonna find a spot for you. And I was like, oh, this is amazing. I've never had someone like, I'm gonna take you Yeah. Find you a job. Yeah. I love that. Within Netflix, you know what I mean? I was like, that's so sweet. Like I, I'll gladly take you up on that. So, you know, I waited around and she would check in and then that program started, the DA program.
Camille: So basically once you're like, okay, I've figured out what I'm doing or what I wanna do.
Yeah. But you also just need a job. Like what's the plan at that point? Are you like, what's the plan at that point? I am full force animation, or you're like, I just need something so that I can get Yeah, pay for better character designs
Austin: You know, it was both. It was like, I don't have control over these things.
Right. Obviously, I wanna land in a spot that is animation driven. If I don't, I'll get in. And then I hear it's very like, transversal, people can move around. Like I just heard that about the culture, which was true. And so I was like, I'll worry about it later. And then and at the same time I have a lot more money coming in and I can really refine everything that I've been working on this past year and a half.
So, you know, the DA program was kind of a mediation of that, right? It wasn't a specific role. It also got me to like a la carte, like discover everything that's going on in Netflix, meet with everyone, see what is a culture fit, right? Like for instance, I wanted to get into adult animation, obviously, 'cause that's what I make.
It wasn't really a culture fit. And then the animation series team wasn't really a culture fit. I never had seen myself in film honestly. It was mostly TV driven 'cause that's what I write. Yeah. And then I saw everything that they're doing and like how diverse the creative execs were and how diverse the production team was, how diverse the filmmakers were, how diverse the concepts were, and you know, doing African folklore tales and, filipino folklore tales and it just felt like there was kind of this burst of energy and. A diversity that I really wanted to cling onto and kind of ride into whatever the next stage of my career was.
So I kind of just, you know, grabbed on and see where it took me. Yeah. And I just knew being in those circles because, you know, a lot of that early stage of building the studio was kind of stealing talent from the major animation studios. I was like, okay, I'll just, you know, bump and collide into some of the, you know credible talent that will, you know, I can establish relationships with and can feed off some of their creative energy and learn things from them. So it was more about just putting myself in the spot and seeing, what could come of it and then how I could apply to what I'm working on myself.
Camille: Yeah.
Camille: Is there something in your nature, in your experience where you, 'cause you mentioned part of looking at animation being like, wait, there's a huge gap here. Like they're not telling black stories.
Austin: Yeah.
Camille: I think some people will look at the industry or a piece of the industry and be like, Ooh, nobody looks like me over there.
Yeah. I'm gonna avoid it. And you're like, I'm going head first. Yeah, totally. So is that just like. I mean, I guess it is maybe the purpose thing, but was there anything that either gave you confidence or was like, Ooh, maybe not.
Austin: Yeah, no, it was like a weird nervous energy of, you know, fear of there not being people that were like me and also like excitement for the potential for a breakthrough. Yeah. And what that could mean, you know, and what I could be a part of, and the community that could be, you know, starting to be built within animation for black people.
Like there are a lot of black people that are kind of been in the shadows, like, you know, not being able to link arms with each other and yeah. I had a, you know, intuition that, that existed one, and then two, like, you know, I wanted to make my mark in this space that I feel honestly like really it is very comparable to the black experience. I mean, I feel like animation to me is like jazz. Like it really is. Mm. It's like the compilation of all these disparate elements that come together to form this tapestry that is like beautifully evocative and moves people. And you know, what I saw in animation is like what I see in basketball, what I see in jazz.
And I was just like, you know, we're not even here. Like, why aren't we there too? There's. There's a spot for us there to really like, kind of fuck shit up a little bit and speak to people in a different way and I kind of wanted to widen our aperture by getting, in the fold a little bit.
Camille: Yeah.
Camille: What's your favorite piece of animated content or like animation style right now?
Austin: So right now, I mean it's not like a great style, but it's intrinsically funny to me and I love that it's like, it's kind of mixed media ish, but smiling friends.
It's just, I don't know if you've ever seen it so silly and dark and like morbid. To me, it's like the best distillation for like what it feels like to be on the internet now. Almost like you kind of, you're just like. Put through this machine and kind of grinded into a pulp. And then like you come on the other end and you're like, what the fuck was that?
And that part of it I really like, resonate with. 'cause I feel like, you know, a lot of what I want to do too is kind of speak to the time that we're in. Like, it just, it feels, it speaks more to me than most things I'm watching. Yeah. Um, and then. What's it called? Just absolutely rocked me. Uh, Scavenger Reign that came out about two years ago. Beautiful like 2D hand drawn, kind of like anime inspired, but definitely like Americanized. The score is like really it's like very melodic and gentle, but like soulful and it feels like the show is like pondering constantly. Like it feels like you're, you feel like you're, you can hear your breathing when you're watching the show.
Like that's the kind of, it kind of opens up that space for you. Yeah. And it's like a sci-fi kind of space drama and there's some comedic elements, but it's really just kind of this tragic story with like sci-fi elements. Mm-hmm. Um, and I just love that the medium was being used like that for adult animation.
And then like my favorite stuff all time, it's like the regular show. Regular show is just very silly, very straightforward. It's these people that are kind of low lives, that work at a, at a park, and they can never like complete the assignment that their boss gives them. They always like end up in some like, horribly like world ending scenario.
From the, from like them just being like, take out the trash and then like they do something so horribly wrong. It's just like the fallibility of humanity. It's like, I love that as like a premise that like, is. Totally like folded into, you know, kind of the setup of every episode. It's really kind of sweet in a way.
And then SpongeBob, I just love, I think there's so much texture to it in terms of like, it's very working class, whether you like, realize it or not. And the older I got, I start to appreciate it. That like he's just working as like a fast food. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's like flipping burgers. It's such a simple life.
And then you have Squidward. Who's like his foil, who like hates his life because like he's working at a fast food chain and he has all these like high culture ambitions and he wants to be far away from SpongeBob and Patrick, who those are like, these like idiot credence. Something about it, it just feels like they really wanted to speak to capitalism in a very indirect way. They want to speak to climate change in a very indirect way because, you know, I dunno if you know this, but it's like supposed to be like a it's like a natural disaster bikini bottom. Like, that's why you see like all these, like, it's like after like an, like all stuff a radiation, it's like after feel like an explosion and stuff.
There's always ways to like that they cue it in the show, in the background and stuff. And I think the creator was like, he was like a surfer who like, loved nature. So like that was kind of like his entry point to it a little bit. Yeah. Um, and then I just love the sensibility of a wild, like, spectrum of human emotion.
Like, SpongeBob is so vulnerable. Like, like this man is like constantly on pins and needles. Like he'll be laughing and then he'll be like, bawling and then he'll be, you know, sick to his stomach and then he'll be like, disgusted and I mean, he's like. He can just run through everything. Yeah. And like that kind of feels like, you know what, every day feels like he kind of just run through a course of different emotions and you come on the other end and then you start over again.
But he always has the optimism that things will be better and if he like brings that positivity to his life, he can affect and impact others. Usually doesn't, but you know what I mean. He's down for that. You know what I mean? I love that about him. And then there's just like the kind of the extra layer of like, that black people just have always like, loved SpongeBob and like you see it on Twitter kind of refashioned through like meme culture and stuff like that. Yeah. Like seeing that, like what I grew up on and seeing how black people use that humor and chop it up and bits and pieces is like really funny and relatable and, you know, and sweet.
So yeah that's probably like. And then if I have to like name a movie inside Out, it's like my favorite animated movie. Okay. Probably just because of the I, what I like want to do is like what they accomplish is like speak to something that's very specific and unique. Yeah. Which is, to me the whole purpose of the movie is like, to explain the importance of sadness.
That's like this complement to happiness and it's this agent for healing that helps shape, your memories and your experiences. I just feel like that's such a beautiful idea. And then to be able to like develop a whole world to kind of frame that concept and then, you know, to deliver that to children I think is just such a awesome unbelievable and I've always seen this like kind of what I want to accomplish in animation, like be able to be hyper specific about an emotion or an idea that I want to give off, and that can only kind of be exemplified through animation because of the characteristics of it.
Mm-hmm. Um, yeah.
Camille: Yeah. I, to be like totally honest, don't watch a ton of animation, but it is like really cool to hear you talk about it. Yeah. So I'm like, wait, I need to watch this. This is deep.
Austin: Oh,
Camille: like I have seen Inside Out, but I feel like it's, that's so mainstream. Like so many people have seen it. But yeah, no, definitely.
Yeah. It's like, yeah, you can tell you're passionate about it, right? 'cause you're thinking about it on a whole nother level, which is obviously, you know, but like, yeah, for me it's like, oh yeah, there's a whole world,
Austin: yeah.
Camille: Behind everything that I'm not experiencing.
Austin: I actually love that too. I love that too, because that's another beautiful part of it, is like, it's like, you know.
There's like 500 to thousand people that touch this product and it's made over like, you know, three to seven year span and then it comes out and you know, it's received by people and some feel it a lot more than others, but there's always like space to kind of mine more and more about it. 'cause there's so much that goes into making it right.
Like every piece of it is so intentional. Yeah. It's kinda, I, I compare like. It's like an orchestra. It really is like the director's a composer and they're just taking all these disparate talents, all these different instruments and like threading them together to make a song. But it's like this really long, systematic approach to making a song that takes like a lot of, you know, rehashing and editing and and there's so many components to it.
Something about it that like when people don't watch animation, to me it's funny. I'm just like, I feel like they just haven't found their thing.
Camille: Yeah.
Austin: And I feel like it's part of it too. It's like
Camille: you like it, you just haven't found it like, right. Right. Exactly.
Austin: And I think that's too, partly because of one what's offered and then, kind of like the marketing of animation is either it's for kids or it's like, adult swim kind of white boy frat culture.
But yeah, I think there's just a lot of different avenues that people don't know that they can go down
yeah.
Camille: So I know you've had some experience in pitching your own shows mm-hmm. And your concepts. And so even just hearing you talk a little bit about. Just a few shows that you like I could see how the pitch would go well, because they're like, okay, you're passionate. You're thinking about all the layers.
Austin: Yeah.
Camille: But especially knowing that you're trying to attack a gap in the content. Right. Space. how do those conversations go with like your approach? Do people usually immediately understand where you're coming from or is it like I have to take them on this whole journey to explain how people will be interested in my stuff?
Austin: Yeah, it's great question. I think I've gotten both right. I've gotten people that have like sunk their teeth in it. Like, I totally get what you're going for. I can envision it. And they're like, you know, let's keep talking. Let's keep the conversation. And then I never heard back from, and then I've got people that, you know, I felt like I had to win over and they're the ones that kind of wanna help me try to push it.
Okay.
Austin: You know, you never know in a room really how people, and I understand that side of it. Yeah. 'cause I was a creative exec, so like, I know sometimes you're just like your eighth meeting and you're like, who is this? Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, they're pitching something. Then I, I haven't read it and
you know, it's not resonating right now and, I'm tired. Yeah. So there's, it is there's a human aspect to it and I get how busy creative exec's days can be and how little gets made too. Mm-hmm. So like, it's such a strong funnel that like it has to really speak to them.
So, you know, I've kind of, it's run the gamut. I've, I feel like I've seen everything. But end of the day, like, you know, it hasn't broken through in a way where I can like actually sell it. You know, I've had production companies come on and help me try to push it.
I've had, you know, different people telling me they'll connect me with certain people. That falls through, like I've seen, you know, I've been through every avenue, every nook and cranny and like had the door shut in my face. So it's like.
Austin: I've come out the other end and I'm I'm in a weird spot where it's almost meditative in a way.
It's like, I love what I made. Like I feel confident in it. I love like that I was able to translate what was on my mind mm-hmm into this visual story that I felt is really powerful, you know, given the opportunity to get its legs. And see what's there. But you know, there's a reality that, you know, there's not people that are generally like me on other end or, and I'm, it's not to say that like it's this like mind blowing concept that needs to be bought, but you know, there it could be, there's just gaps in it that I have to figure out what, it's not connecting with people.
Mm-hmm. But. I just keep coming back that I'm really proud of the work that I put into it. Yeah. And the people that I worked with are, you know, incredibly wonderful people and creative and fun and some of the discussions I've had have, you know, changed how I see the world and I see people and, and mission and purpose and you know, all the good things that actually matter and drive you in life.
So I feel like, you know, at the end of the day, I'm a creative person. I'm an artist. That's always gonna be the case. And so whatever I'm doing, like I kind of see it more as an outlet more than anything. Mm-hmm. Now, and like it would be beautiful to share my outlet with the world. Like I think most people, that artists wanna share their outlet.
Yeah. But at the same time, there's something. To be said about just making things that you love, to make things that you love and sharing it with people around you in your community too. I feel like very localized right now, just, you know, having a kid and having to slow down and be present. Yeah.
Austin: Um, so I'm like, you know, I'm in a weird spot where I've kind of given up selling myself and like, I haven't been writing like I haven't really written this year.
But I'm constantly thinking about things and. I did come up with a new concept for an animated film that I actually had started working on, uh, as part of this comedy blitz for Netflix. So like, you know, there's things percolating kind of under the surface, but I'm kind of just like taking life in and hopefully something changes and then I can get back into it. But I don't feel like I don't know. I don't feel urgent right now like I did for so long. Yeah. I think it's partly I'm probably burnt out too. Yeah. There was like a, I mean, you knew me three, four years ago. There was an urgency to me, you know what I mean?
Yeah. Now that's kind of, it's changed.
Camille: I mean it's, it is exhausting to be promoting yourself and your work and trying to get people to understand that it should mean at least almost as much as it means,
Austin: like, this means the world to me. How do you not get it?
Camille: Yeah. And that's tiring. Yeah, for sure.
And I think especially even just the like up and down of like, wait, they said they were gonna connect me or like they said yes and right. And then being like, oh, they changed their mind, or
Yeah,
they never connected me.
Austin: Right.
Camille: So I think that's hard, but I think it is really cool that you're still able to have pride in it. Yeah. And be like, I haven't been exhausted to the point that I'm questioning my art or questioning your identity as an artist. Right. So I think that's, a huge win. But yeah, I think especially being in the industry, being in LA, just being in this, this space, it is hard to. I think adjust when you're like, this was gonna be my career and now is this gonna be just a hobby?
Yes. And so, right. A different vantage point. Yeah. Like, how are you,
Austin: how do I feel about that?
Camille: Sitting with Yeah. Yeah. Like, or or is it not even, oh no, we're not making that distinction. It's just, it's not happening right now and it will happen.
Austin: Yeah. It's weird. Like, I don't know honestly what I feel like, I don't know if I'm like ready to just leave it or if I'm waiting and hoping, you know, something clicks or there's a new project that I feel so passionate about that I'm like, you know, this is a second wind. You know what I mean? I don't know what the future holds, but I do feel like at the very least I feel open to wanting to continue expressing myself.
Austin: And what I mean by that is, I kind of want to just try different things artistically in terms of like the medium. So for instance, I kind of have started like I got this like drawing book, just like to learn how to draw myself.
Camille: Yeah. And you don't have to go on Fiver.
Yeah.
Austin: Just like to really connect with like design, just directly and not have to write and be in my head. So I've done that. I definitely want to like, learn an instrument. Mm-hmm. And I'm deciding like what that is right now. Either piano, guitar, and I feel like. That's something I wanna share with Otis as well.
Yeah. Because he seems like almost kind of, I mean everyone says this about their children, you can't tell what they are into now, but he does seem a little musically inclined more. Yeah. So than I ever,
Camille: I've seen him at music class, I've seen the videos.
Austin: You, the video where he is twerking and popping with his guitar, not playing it at all.
No. Um, yeah. I want to be able to like, just do things more directly. Yeah. Like myself, like with my hands, whatever that means. Like I want to get into, you know, making pottery or something like that. I'm just more open to doing the work to express myself in different mediums.
Yeah. Like I feel like it's a five, 10 year journey starting now. Mm-hmm. Where like, I will be happy to have the skills, you know, in my forties. To express myself through different mediums and I want to start that journey now. Yeah. And I never thought like that before. Like I kind of was always like, gotta be 30 so much show, I gotta be a showrunner.
I gotta, I mean, like, I, you know what I mean? Like, I wanna be like running shit. I wanna be, you know, it was all about me, me, me, me, me, like Yeah, totally. And less about just like expressing for expression's sake. Yeah. And what that does to your mental, what that does for the people around you. Like how that shapes your mindset and it's just, I feel like a space is open to slow down and, you know, want to be creative in different aspects, uh, and see if like what comes out of those things too. Right? Like, I just feel like these things kind of communicate with each other too. Like, I love music, so how would that transform my writing if I was able to play a song?
Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like, or create one. And I, I've just been thinking a lot more outside of the box. About, you know, how I can have these different creative adventures kind of inform, you know, how I am as a writer, filmmaker. So that's, that's kind of where I am right now.
Camille: Yeah, it seems like a healthy place to be.
Austin: It is, but then there's the career aspect of like, I really gotta just bring money in too.
Camille: Yeah.
Austin: And I don't wanna be a, just like a totally dead end job. 'cause it's un inspiring and
Camille: Totally,
Austin: that makes those things less likely that you're doing consistently right? Yeah. So that's trying to find that medium where I can find something that excites me and I'm like, you know, what is that?
And you know, through that, you know, my wife and I are talking about moving, like the setting. Yeah. It's really important to us, like thinking about like what's the experience of life that we want? Like do we want to be. Waiting in traffic after work. Yeah.
I'm like, no, we live in a fucking cottage. And it's you know what I mean? And there's nature all around us and that's how I spend on weekends. And I'm not glued to my phone. Yeah. Or glued to tv. And, you know, I feel like I have more space and time to be creative. Yeah. So all of these things are kind of rushing in the door right now with, you know.
Coming off of these failures and like, lemme like reorient. You know what I mean? Like, let me pivot a little bit. Yeah. And like see if there's some sunshine over here. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No. Yeah. Instead of just like giving up,
Camille: not giving up. Yeah.
Yeah. But I do think that's such a real thing, like whether it is a, this is how it ends, or this is just where it is right now, I think. Yeah. It's something that you almost have to go through living here. Yeah. At some point. Unless you're like the super lucky where Right. Things take off from the beginning, but even those people, I feel like at some point are like, wait, nobody's calling?
Austin: Yeah. Yeah. Especially now.
Camille: Yeah. Yeah. Shit like then we hit a pandemic and then we hit strikes and all like,
Austin: yes. All that. Yeah. I stole my flow bar for bar.
Camille: Yeah. So you never know. Yeah.
Austin: You never know.
Camille: But it's so hard 'cause the experience doesn't match up to the level of effort and passion that's behind it.
And that's really frustrating. Yeah, exactly.
Camille: And so, like what tips do you have for people who are looking to pursue a passion or purpose or at least what they think it is or discover it? Because I think you have found like a sweet spot of like,
yeah.
There's like an anchor, I think in your thought process and your approach
Austin: Yeah, definitely.
I mean, it feels weird answering that coming off of like, I'm dying over here just trying to survive.
Camille: But I'm lowkey, like that's where I want the tips from. I want it from that space.
Austin: No, that's, that's, that's true because it's, you know, that's the space where you're really fighting. No, yeah. To me, I think just love the work like.
We're all original and there's ways that we think and approach and see the world that are original and there's something that you can communicate to other people, you know, while we're on this rock that is meaningful to them and changes their outlook and changes their scope.
And I think that's a really beautiful thing. And the older I get, I realize like the only thing that matters is you know, people. Mm-hmm. Really, it's like sounds simple, but it's relationships and you know. There is just art for art's sake. I think you lose some of that the older you get. Yeah, there's something beautiful about just making things and letting them sit in the world and letting other people observe them. So just refine your craft and put yourself into it, like all of yourself into it.
And it's always gonna to be work too. Like you can't shy away from the working aspect of it. Like you're gonna hit walls. But you have to like. Have discipline. Something I didn't have in my mid twenties. Something I developed as I started corner into the thirties and really, you know, I got confident in what I was trying to say.
And the only way that I could really have breakthroughs was like being disciplined, like establishing a routine. It pushed me to think about things on a deeper level. Like what am I really trying to communicate?
And you know, a lot of the times, it can be scary 'cause you're like, am I exposing myself by thinking this way? Yeah. You know what I mean? Is this really weird or is this off? Or like, you know what I mean? It's vulnerable. Yeah, it's vulnerable. Exactly. Yeah. And, uh, you just gotta push through those uncomfortable corners.
And then I would say, like for me, I mean, I don't know if this is for everyone, but like reading is a huge part of being an artist to me. Like you have to get in the skin of other people and understand life's experiences from other people and different vantage points. It's only gonna make you more empathetic.
And that honestly too, it's just a mechanism to keep you inspired. You know, you'll read. You read the backstory of some like Russian author in the 1800s and this shit was tragic as hell. Like no one knew who the fuck they were.
Like you know what I mean they got ran outta town. They ended up in a, like a loony bin and they're like, and then they were this huge artist and posthumously and they had, they had a way, Jane Austen. Exactly. Yeah. And there was a way about them and they just were ahead of where people were at that time. And so like, you know, if the market and the, the media interviews, the buyers aren't, you know, feeling your flow, like that's not a justification in my opinion, to quit. It just means like, you know, there are, there's something that is not connecting with them. You're either ahead or there's something that's missing in your own work and not to be afraid to keep trying to refine your voice.
Yeah. And it takes a lot of discipline to do that
Camille: that's good. Thank you.
Austin: Of course.
Camille: And then I'm ending every episode the same way. So if you were currently in kindergarten, what would you bring in for show and tell?
Austin: Honestly, like you gave this answer beforehand and I was stumped by it.
I was like, this is the hardest question I've ever, I was like, she's saying like, what I cherish now or what I would cherish or what I, what something says about me as a, you know what I mean? Like
Camille: it's totally up for your interpretation. Yeah.
But my goal here generally is just like. Some of what we're talking about can be like a little bit heavy. Yeah. It's overwhelming. Right. And it's very specific, right? And so at the end I'm like, we're people, and we have other stuff going on. True. And sometimes we just wanna show someone like our cool thing.
Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes it has a really deep thing and sometimes it's like, I love this color.
Austin: Aww that's sweet.
Camille: So it's however you wanna take it.
Austin: I wanna, oh man. It's tough what I bring. Can I bring Otis? No,
What would that bring right now? Such a good question.
Honestly, I'd bring some, like those dots, pretzels? Mm-hmm. Have you had those?
Camille: No.
Austin: They're really blowing me away lately.
Camille: I'm Googling them. It's
Austin: just a flavor I haven't had before. I literally cannot stop eating 'em. Like I got the industrial pack like three days ago.
Camille: Oh, and these like stick pretzels? Yes.
Austin: And I'm almost like. They're made it from some like white family in i, in Ohio or some shit. And they just, they smack like I'm obsessed with them. I'm like, oh, a new flavor. I was like, I haven't felt this way in a while. Like, this feels like a new flavor. Like, you know what I mean? It just hits.
Camille: I love that.
Austin: So I'm bringing my some dots, pretzels.
Camille: and you know what, that's gonna be popular in kindergarten. They love a snack.
Austin: Right. And I'll hand 'em out. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, Otis is starting to get a vibe for them. 'cause like the texture's weird. 'cause the pretzels are hard. Mm. But after he chews it a little bit, he's like.
Gets a little, it gets the flavor of the, you know, the salt flavor. He's like, I get it. I get it.
Camille: Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being here and Yeah, and sharing your journey.
Austin: Of course. Thank you for having me. This was fun.
Camille: Thanks for listening to my conversation with Austin. If you want to keep up with him, you can find is social media accounts in the show notes.
Please subscribe to the show anywhere you get your podcasts and leave a review to let me know what you think. You can also get updates on guests, episode releases, and more by following the show on Instagram @holdthedoorpod.
I’ll be back next week with an episode exploring work/life balance. See you then.
